WOMEN OF THE PREHISTORIC PLANET - 1966 / MST3K Version

This is a little weird, when our pal Randall Landers left a comment on the John Agar post about not being able to find this title, I was browsing through my MST collection and found it there, season 1... Even if our MST pals appear at the bottom of the screen, we can now add this little title to our big list of posts!

MST hit the airwaves back in 1988, after 10 seasons, they ripped their way through 197 films that each had around 300 jokes (or, is it 600?) each! You do the math.

Joel Hodgson plays Joel Robinson, he gets shot into space by his bosses played by Trace Beaulieu (on the right) and Josh Weinstein. Joel spends his time in space with his robot pals, Tom Servo, Crow T. Robot and Gypsy.

This movie stars Wendell (AGENT FOR H.A.R.M.) Corey, John (NIGHTBREED) Agar, Keith (SPACE PATROL) Larsen and Merry (THE HYPNOTIC EYE) Anders. The story goes like this... A space ship crash lands on the third planet of a distant solar system, killing all hands except for a boy named Tang. The rescue ship arrives some 20 years later, one of the crew, a girl named Linda, meets Tang and falls in love with him. And, our crew encounters strange creatures on this somewhat familiar world.

Okay, so, lets get this out of the way... This movie sucks!

Anyway, our heroes are on their way to locate a missing crew from a previous space mission, meaning, there's plenty of yakkity-yak about what could have possibly happened to them.

So's you know, the spaceship's name is COSMOS III... The poster shows the saucer from THIS ISLAND EARTH but this one looks like a toy from the forties... Whatever.

In a flashback, Admiral King, played by Wendell Corey, tells the tale of the mission that crashed 20 years earlier... Pow!, right into a miniature lake!

Back to now... We're getting ready to land on the third planet of the distant solar system!

John and the gang cross deadly streams and the like, a fun cheap thrill when one guy falls in.

They find an old mad lab full of weird shit!

It's hard to make out but dude has a big stuffed spider on his back! When the guy shoots the spider, it explodes and fills the whole place with smoke! I'd bet that the guy in charge of explosives effed up!

People get frisky, you know... But, that very cool toilet seems to be out of place!!

Joel and the Bots try to dismantle a doomsday satellite they find next to their ship and it turns them into Isaac Asimov characters. They have til the end of the show to get the job done.

The earth's a shakin' like a B and it looks like mother nature is now in charge. It's time to gather up the crew and get the Hell out of Dodge!..

Good news!!.. Washer's fixed, grab the towels!..

Anywho, Linda gets to stay with Tang and the crew in the COSMOS III jet off into space, back to their home planet, out there somewhere.

Then, Admiral King finishes his tale... The planet they're leaving is called... Get ready... EARTH!!.. Mofo!

There you go Randall, glad to get this one under our belt, too bad the movie's so bad. We'll end with this double bill with a version of NAVY vs, THE NIGHT MONSTERS, also from 1966...

MAKE THAT SPARE - (1961 -1962)

 
 Bowling and Wrasslin' were two of the most popular pastimes of the 50's and 60's! Tonight's Saturday Night Special offering is a tribute to bowlers everywhere, because just like golf and a lot of other things, bowling is not as easy as it looks on TV!

 "Make That Spare" was only a 15 minute TV show that was made to fill in time after boxing matches which tended to end after 45 minutes leaving a gap in programming that needed to be filled! The host was Johhny (Rock Around The Clock) Johnston!

Tonight's roll off is between two seasoned veterans, Jim Schroeder and......

.....................Jerry McCoy!

The game goes like this, the bowlers each have a chance at five frames of spare Hell, and whoever gets the most points gets a prize, plus a chance at the super spare shot!

If you've ever bowled, you'll know how difficult this is!

Both these guys were able to split these two pins!!

That's a damn good shot!

A lot of people think bowling is a sport for low-brow drunken dullards, but let's face it, you have to be drunk to try and attempt a shot like this! I saw a chart that listed the 10 most difficult spares to try and pick up, and they averaged under one per cent! That's why good bowlers throw all strikes!

Believe it or not, both Tabonga and I have been on bowling leagues at one time or another in our life, not together or even in the same decade, but we've both suffered the fever!

 

The winner of the contest got a shot at winning this Mustang if they could make this almost impossible spare! Unfortunately Jerry didn't make it!

So it turns out that in the end, Jerry was the real McCoy!

"Hang On Sloopy" indeed!!

SIREN OF BAGDAD / Esskay Pictures Corporation - 1953

Time for a trip back to 1953 with a story that goes like this... Kazah the Great, a magician, heads a troupe of girls and acrobats traveling in Arabia. The girls are kidnapped by the Sultan, El Malid, and Kazak joins forces with Zendi, the daughter of the rightful sultan that was deposed by Malid. Kazak must get the girls back and rid Bagdad of the evil Malid...

The movie stars Paul (EXORIST II: THE HERETIC) Henreid, Patricia (LATITUDE ZERO) Medina and Hans (THE MONSTER THAT CHALLENGED THE WORLD) Conried.

Here's Kazak in the middle of his act, he's getting ready to disappear a girl.

Now, how much better does it get than to hang out with a scantily clad girlie smoking from a hookah?!.. Well, you can count me in!!

Hans plays Kazak's sidekick, Ben Ali. He scares this guy with Kazak's disappearing body trick!

Here's Ben Ali with his camel pal before heading off to Bagdad to search for the missing girls..

Kazak's girls are now entertaining the bad guys in Bagdad with great dance moves!

Kazak locates Princess Zendi taking a bath. she calls for her bodyguard to throw the bum out. But, when he pulls some flowers out of his ass for her, she has a change of heart!

For the old dude, this could be called... Heaven On Earth!

I like this shot with all the interesting foliage and costumes!

The girls check out all the good looking guys that have just entered the room! Too bad I'm not one of those guys...

Threw this one in because I really love the colors of those goofy costumes!

Ben Ali spends most of his time in disguise, screwing with Malid's men whenever possible!

Kazak finally gets Malid just where he wants him and the table's now turned!

Kazak has to perform one last disappearing trick before the people there to help Malid run away with their tails between their legs... Check in tomorrow for some fun from Eegah!!